Sigh, I'll Never Be A Cool Kid
Today marks the day that I finally accept myself entirely. Today, the 7th of December 2017, is the day that my lifelong dream of being cool dies. It's over, I've let it go, I will never be cool.
Maybe one day I'll learn how to pose or enjoy brushing my hair or even dress like the Asian international students at uni. Maybe one day I'll have a million followers on social media who are inspired by my cool style and want to live my life. But that day isn't today or tomorrow or ever, I've finally accepted that even though I've moved from on from being an awkward child to an awkward teen, in a few months I'll just become an awkward adult. I think I'm ok with that.
Actually I lied.
I want to be cool and confident and look nice in pictures. Instead I tend to look a deeply depressed or a little sprinkle of crazy if I don't grin like a fat kid in a cake shop. However, it's never going to happen. I'm not going to be a sultry 20-year-old who knows how to "find her light" or knows how to pout. I'm in the last stage of my photogenic evolution, the opportunity to glow has passed me by, the glow fairy forgot about me. Actually no, to be fair to me I've figured out how to apply makeup and I have a vague idea what clothes suit my body. I think the real issue that I'm not that photogenic, all my nice pictures where fab mistakes, one hit wonders.
Don't get me wrong my life as a whole is anything but boring, in fact it's actually a bit too eventful at times but it's not cool. For example today I ordered Pho from Deliveroo (my top 5 favourite meals) and accidentally they gave me a free bottle of Fanta, exciting right! However because I have IBS, fizzy drinks give me gas and I'm going out tonight so I have to postpone the consumption of this lucky Fanta until tomorrow. This is my life. Arguably the issue isn't that fizzy drinks give me gas but that I feel comfortable sharing this with the internet. Basically I'm a weirdo that's aware of my weirdness therefore making me an awkward weirdo, the weirdest type of weirdo.
In other news, a little life update. I'm loving Americanah, yesterday I put aside an hour to read and listen to jazz while sipping tea and it was fab. Also, I've received quite a bit of good news this week so my quest to be really positive about life is going well (apart from uni that keeps trying to steal my joy).
Anyway, lots of love and whatever (Note To Self: think of a proper ending for posts)
Maybe one day I'll learn how to pose or enjoy brushing my hair or even dress like the Asian international students at uni. Maybe one day I'll have a million followers on social media who are inspired by my cool style and want to live my life. But that day isn't today or tomorrow or ever, I've finally accepted that even though I've moved from on from being an awkward child to an awkward teen, in a few months I'll just become an awkward adult. I think I'm ok with that.
Actually I lied.
I want to be cool and confident and look nice in pictures. Instead I tend to look a deeply depressed or a little sprinkle of crazy if I don't grin like a fat kid in a cake shop. However, it's never going to happen. I'm not going to be a sultry 20-year-old who knows how to "find her light" or knows how to pout. I'm in the last stage of my photogenic evolution, the opportunity to glow has passed me by, the glow fairy forgot about me. Actually no, to be fair to me I've figured out how to apply makeup and I have a vague idea what clothes suit my body. I think the real issue that I'm not that photogenic, all my nice pictures where fab mistakes, one hit wonders.
Don't get me wrong my life as a whole is anything but boring, in fact it's actually a bit too eventful at times but it's not cool. For example today I ordered Pho from Deliveroo (my top 5 favourite meals) and accidentally they gave me a free bottle of Fanta, exciting right! However because I have IBS, fizzy drinks give me gas and I'm going out tonight so I have to postpone the consumption of this lucky Fanta until tomorrow. This is my life. Arguably the issue isn't that fizzy drinks give me gas but that I feel comfortable sharing this with the internet. Basically I'm a weirdo that's aware of my weirdness therefore making me an awkward weirdo, the weirdest type of weirdo.
In other news, a little life update. I'm loving Americanah, yesterday I put aside an hour to read and listen to jazz while sipping tea and it was fab. Also, I've received quite a bit of good news this week so my quest to be really positive about life is going well (apart from uni that keeps trying to steal my joy).
Anyway, lots of love and whatever (Note To Self: think of a proper ending for posts)
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