Tales Of Life As A Giraffe

Thought I’d change it up at write at a normal time, so this time here’s my random thoughts at 9pm.

So for those of you who don’t know me in “real life” I’m tall, like really tall. I wasn’t one of those girls that had a growth spurt my mum always describes me as being born long. This means that being tall is a really big part of my identity. Maybe even one of the biggest parts.

To be honest being tall was one of my biggest insecurities until relatively recently. We live in a world where models 6 foot and above are worshipped but for the everyday tall girl life isn’t easy. Being a woman, black and tall I’m a minority within a minority within another minority. On the trivial scale shopping is a nightmare. Everything is too short and every makeup shade is too light. On the emotional scale being tall black woman comes hand in hand with constant comments that I’m too tall to be in a relationship or woman aren’t meant to do that and let’s not even start on the racial struggles. To say it’s frustrating is an understatement. Yes, comments about modelling and a basketball career were also mentioned but as an overweight, inactive teen who were they kidding.

  

Me aged 2 looking aged 5 lol

In hindsight it’s actually funny, I used to pray every night that one day I’d wake up 5’6” but that I’d still remember how hard it was being tall so that I’d appreciate the gift of lack of height. That’s how much I hated being different. The worst thing is before I started secondary school I didn’t even realise I was tall. Everyone in my family is and I went to a small primary school where there was only one class per, in my year there was one tall white girl, one tall black boy and one tall black girl (me). So I just thought eventually everyone would decide to grow and join us. Then in secondary school with a larger sample size of 210 in a year and everyone in my class saying I was tall, I realised I was tall. To put it into context I was 5’9’’ in year 7. By the end of the first term in “big school” I had 2 new insecurities the fact that I was tall and not photogenic (btw still don’t take good school photos), and thus began the most awkward 5 years of my life.

Any who, fast forward to now. I’m lying in bed all nearly 6' of me realising how little I care because insecurities are like arse holes, everyone has them. People that are short want to tall, people that have boobs don’t want them etc. etc. While yes it is cliché its true. At least one of the things you dislike about yourself someone else wants. Insecurities are to be honest a waste of time and energy. You need to love you for you.

Me on my 2nd birthday

Now, I’m not belittling how much insecurities can affect you because I’m talking as someone who’s only overcome one of her insecurities not all of them. So in a sense I’m writing this to myself, but that doesn’t negate the fact that if you don’t like something and you can’t change it you need to learn to accept it. It’s almost laughable that this is coming from someone who whole heartedly researched height-reduction surgery to make herself shorter, but maybe it’s easier to tell you this because I’ve come out the other side.

Do I love my height? Yes

Is shopping still annoying? Yes

Am I still struggling with other insecurities? Definitely

And don’t worry I’ll let you know how I get on with the rest of my insecurity demons.

Ok, yeah, bye.